It is in our nature to amplify negativity in our lives than we do with the positive. Self-blame has clouded the minds of many and has prevented them from seeing even the most obvious beauty that they possess. What is even more problematic is that we believe everything negative about ourselves and believe less of the good in us. This is how we eventually accept the negative definition of ourselves given to us by others.
Whenever we fall short or make a mistake, there is usually some part of us that makes us believe we are the mistake. So instead of seeing the situation as it happened, we magnify it and see ourselves as the problem. One of my best concepts in Psychology is Gestalt psychology. It gives a more vivid explanation of our perception of things and behaviors – an important logic that can help shape our perception and help us overcome self-blame and wrongful definition ascribed to us by others.
According to Gestalt psychology, in our attempt to make sense of the world around us, it is important that our minds focus on things as part of a greater whole rather than merely focusing on its components. In other words, you as a human being is more valuable than the single aspects of your life. Your actions, attitudes and certain behaviors are only components of the whole – you as a complete being. So next time, when you fail an exam, lost a job, got into trouble, said an unkind word, mismanaged a resource or missed an opportunity, it simply means you failed at something, you are not a failure!
In a nutshell, your worth is far beyond the mistakes you make, a bad attitude or your poor choices. When we look beyond these individual components, we are more likely to see the beauty in ourselves and in other people. The labels given to us by others will also then have no power over us because we know our worth is far greater than these labels.